Burnout: When Life Feels Like it's Going Up in Flames

Managing Burnout in a Healthy Way

Burnout isn't a bad day at the office or feeling overwhelmed in the moment. Burnout is a long-term issue that slowly builds up over time – and if you don’t catch it early, it can start to take a real toll on your body, your mood, and your everyday life. It's truly important to take it seriously, not pretend that it will somehow get better, especially if you don't make positive and healthy changes. One of the most demoralizing aspects of burnout is the feeling that no matter what you do, it’s not enough.

Therapy offers the opportunity to slow life down and reflect. Slowing down doesn't mean being ambivalent, falling behind or avoiding things. Slowing down means not rushing anymore while multi tasking trying to achieve everything all at once since most things are priority number one, all while being frustrated, agitated or feeling constantly behind, then putting a lot of energy into trying not to feel that way so you can focus on all the things that need to get done. Wash, rinse, repeat the cycle until you literally are running on fumes. Does any of this sound familiar?

Burnout is a common theme with most people, we hit that wall at some point. But if you are hitting that wall frequently, or even knocking your head against it on a daily basis - it's time to reflect on what's going on. Anxiety, depression, impatience, feelings of inadequacy, exhaustion, and disappointment often travel alongside burnout. And yet, many people feel a strong pull to power through, push themselves to the other side at a high emotional and physical cost. It is often the result of too much energy output and not enough fuel to keep going.

Burnout can show up in many areas of life. It might be tied to work, family responsibilities, constant physical exertion, unrelenting stress, hours of intense mental activity, rumination, caregiving, or simply trying to do too much for too long. Burnout is an undeniable sign that something important in your life is not working.

I welcome you to SLOW DOWN now and think about this...

1. How am I feeling in this moment?

2. How close am I currently to burnout?

3. Can I identify a time I was genuinely burned out?

4. How do I handle things when I am honestly at burnout?

Wait - did you actually think about this? please, take another minute to reflect what this means to you :)

What are some of the symptoms of burnout?

1. EXHAUSTION - this is not something a nap or a morning of sleeping in can solve. This is a pervasive state of fatigue, feeling drained, emotionally flat and maybe disengaged. It has been going on for a few days, weeks or even months (though I hope not!). This can begin to manifest itself physically with symptoms like headaches, problems with digestion, trouble sleeping, jittery, loss of appetite or problems with focus.

   
   

2. ISOLATION OR WITHDRAWING - When things become too tough or too hard, being around others can add to the burnout. It feels easier to manage it on your own, or protect loved ones from it. You may tend to work a lot more and see less of friends or family, maybe even convince yourself that this is the solution. You also may not have the energy or stamina to socialize so you find yourself alone more often.

   
   

3. FEELINGS OF ANNOYANCE OR IRRITABILITY - This isn't the average "things are on my nerves" state of mind, this is everything is bothering me most of the time, for a while. You may feel more cynical, critical, irritable or impatient and that can be noticeable to others, or even directed at others. There isn't a sense of things will get better. This can often be coupled with a sense of hopelessness.

   
   

4. YOUR BODY CRAVES A BREAK - Your body is sending you signals saying it needs more rest, some sleep, to eat better or more frequently, it may want to exercise, take a walk, feel the sunshine or change environments. Listening to these cues are essential in understanding how to support yourself. Our bodies are incredible at guiding us towards optimal health, if we listen. In burnout you tend to ignore what you're body is asking and meet it with justification or rationalization.

   
   

5. LOSE TOUCH WITH HAPPINESS OR JOY - Things seem like a total drag. What you may have found fun or enjoyable no longer have that same impact. Whether it’s time with friends, hobbies, or even your work, burnout makes everything feel like a chore.

   
   

6. CHRONIC STRESS BECOMES YOUR NEW NORMAL - Your energy levels stay low, and you’re not bouncing back like you used to. At this point you tell yourself, and may actually believe, that this is "the way it is" and change isn't possible. If you arrive here then you have basically ignored all the symptoms and created a new reality for yourself. Mental fatigue is intense here. You may also struggle with self-doubt, feel trapped, or find yourself constantly on edge. It's dangerous when you decided to adjust to this state of being rather than seek to change it.

   
   

7. LOSS OF CONTROL - Burnout can feel like you have lost or never had control over things, especially at work or with family. There may be a lack of recognition of what you do and you feel nobody even notices. It could feel like a loss of control when others make decisions without you even though they affect you, you take on far too much because you feel like you don't have an option or you work / live in a chaotic or stressful environment that you can't get away from. Common feelings associated with this are hopelessness, resignation, feeling inadequate, trapped or a lack of motivation.

Pushing through it is the most frequent coping strategy I hear when it comes to burnout. There is a feeling or belief that if you stopped then things would fall apart. What choice are you going to make for yourself?

What can you do to reset?

1. One way to begin shifting burnout is by putting things back into context. When we are overwhelmed, our brain starts treating everything as urgent, critical, and deserving of immediate attention. There is no hierarchy—only pressure. Take an honest look at what is happening with curiosity and concern.

   
   

   Slowing down gives you the opportunity to zoom out and gently question the story your mind is telling you. This isn’t about minimizing responsibilities or pretending things don’t matter. It’s about seeing them clearly, in proportion to reality, rather than through the lens of stress and urgency.

   
   

   Often, burnout isn’t just about how much we’re doing, it’s about how intensely we feel we must do it all, all at once, without pause. Reclaiming context helps restore a sense of choice, perspective, and breathing room.

   
   

   1. Does this really need this much attention right now?

   2. Is this truly catastrophic?

   3. Will things actually fall apart if this waits?

   4. Has my nervous system labeled everything as an emergency?

   5. What choices do I have and what can I influence?

   6. Is how I am framing the situation the true reality?

2. It’s important to give yourself permission to admit when something feels hard. You don’t have to carry such a heavy emotional and mental load out of fear that struggling means you’re not good enough. There can be a quiet story running in the background that says, “If I can’t handle this, something must be wrong with me.” But the truth is, some things really are difficult. Acknowledging that isn’t weakness—it’s honesty. Being realistic about what you are holding, managing, and navigating allows you to respond with self-compassion instead of self-criticism. Just because it feels like you should be doing more, accomplishing more, taking more on doesn't mean that's true. All of us have our limits and understanding that is invaluable.

   
   

3. Ask yourself, “How did I get here?” opens the door to exploring your beliefs, patterns, and coping strategies. It’s wonderful if you’re able to pull yourself out of burnout and move toward a healthier, more vibrant place—but lasting change comes from understanding how you arrived here in the first place, so the pattern doesn’t quietly repeat itself. This kind of honest self-reflection often requires acknowledging the moments when you pushed yourself too hard, ignored the warning signs, or criticized yourself for not being enough. Self-compassion and self-understanding are essential in this process.

   
   

4. Be intentional with yourself. When you are intentional, you reframe sacrifice. It is no longer "losing something"; it is "investing in something better." Now that you have reflected on how you are feeling, the degree of your burnout, how you got here and looking at the reality and context of things - make choices that prioritize your well being and health. I often wonder how many of us will actually think the burnout was worth the reward months or years later. Bring your values to the forefront and notice if you are intentionally living according to those. Being intentional can help us maintain a positive mindset, reach goals, experience more clarity, and be more present. It can also increase our focus and commitment and bring more purpose and meaning to our lives.

   
   

   Take time to think about your hopes, goals, and dreams. Are you neglecting something that is truly important to you?

5. Seek out connection with others. Social contact is nature’s antidote to stress and talking face to face with a good listener is one of the fastest ways to calm your nervous system and relieve stress. Even if you are an introvert, meaningful connections can bring you happiness and joy. Opening up won’t make you a burden to others. In fact, most friends and loved ones will be flattered that you trust them enough to confide in them, and it will only strengthen your friendship.

   On the flip side, limit your contact with negative people. Hanging out with negative-minded people who do nothing but complain will only drag down your mood and outlook. If you have to work with a negative person, try to limit the amount of time you spend together.

   
   

6. Make time to relax and enjoy yourself. Yes, this may feel lazy, but what if it is? If burnout seems inevitable, try to take a complete break from work. Go on vacation, use up your sick days, ask for a temporary leave-of-absence, anything to remove yourself from the situation. Use the time away to recharge your batteries and pursue other methods of recovery. Think about ways that can energize you, help you feel full instead of depleted. On a daily basis take time for yourself. This can be 5 seconds, 5 minutes or 50 minutes. Allow yourself to decompress, feel, reflect or do something that makes you feel peaceful. True rest and relaxation have numerous benefits to mental and physcial health.

Burnout deserves to be taken seriously. It isn’t a joke or a passing phase—it’s the result of long-term, cumulative stress and pressure that can begin to break a person down physically and mentally. Prioritizing yourself in the face of known stressors isn’t selfish; it’s self-preservation. It’s also an opportunity to approach life differently. Creating boundaries, living with purpose, and allowing yourself to feel truly rested can change how you relate to stress altogether. Rather than folding under its weight, you begin to meet it from a place of steadiness, clarity, and strength. I welcome you to consider that we stop viewing achievement at all costs as a badge of honor, and start prioritizing realistic but meaningful goals and active rest and self-care.

“In dealing with those who are undergoing great suffering, if you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself. The point is to have a long-term perspective.” — Dalai Lama XIV